Chesed: The Bedrock of Our People

Why did Avraham insist on going back to Ur Kasdim, his birthplace, to find a wife for Yitzchak? After all, both Canaan and Ur Kasdim were full of idol worshippers - so it surely was not for religious reasons. What made one place different from the other?

The Malbim offered a profound explanation based on an idea in Derashot HaRan. He noted that idolatry was not necessarily just about theology but about culture and character. The people of Canaan had bad middot, they were violent and vengeful. In contrast, Avraham’s family, though also idolaters, exhibited virtues like kindness, hospitality, and generosity. Avraham understood that the foundation of the Jewish people had to rest on these core values.

This is why Eliezer, tasked with finding a wife for Yitzchak, tested Rivka with an act of kindness. When she offered water to him and his camels, she demonstrated her natural generosity and sensitivity. Rivka showed that she embodied the traits necessary to join Avraham’s family and contribute to their divine mission.

Chesed is the bedrock of our nation. Avraham exemplified it in last week’s Torah portion, welcoming strangers into his tent. This week, we saw that it was the critical factor in choosing Yitzchak’s partner. Chesed is not just an act but a defining characteristic, a way of seeing and treating others with care and respect.

In that spirit, I want to share a reflection written by Rabbi Yishai Engelman, a teacher at Yeshivat Birkat Moshe in Ma’ale Adumim. Rabbi Engelman was critically injured in Gaza in July and received treatment at Sheba Medical Center. I have translated and abridged his words to share with you.

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“Let’s meet in the lobby," I wrote to some of the people visiting or delivering something during my hospitalization at Sheba Medical Center, rather than directing them to my room on an upper floor. 

To meet in the lobby, you don’t need to plan much. You don’t even need to schedule with a friend. Just sitting there, with eyes open and ears tuned, is enough. 

If you arrive early, around 7 a.m., you’ll see the incredible team led by Hanan and Itzik, who have been organizing the morning minyan for a year now. They help soldiers out of bed and to the shul; they create an atmosphere, arrange a kiddush, not just on shabbat but even after weekday prayers, and host shiurim and lectures by the heroes they’ve helped rehabilitate. They even organize youth groups in the rehab synagogue. If 7 a.m. is too early for you, you’ll still see them all day, helping soldiers and their families, distributing gifts, and more. 

Two hours later, you might see a girl who skipped school today. Her bat mitzvah is tonight, and she is spending the morning with her parents, handing out goodie bags to wounded soldiers. No, she’s not the first I’ve met here doing this.

Later in the day, you might see those who come weekly to distribute smoothies with flavors unmatched outside these walls. In the afternoon, you could meet the group from Ramat Chen handing out sandwiches.

If you visit in the evening, like a pair of friends who came to eat pizza late last night, you might meet מוטי משחקים, "Moti the Games Guy." A Haredi man, always smiling, pushing a cart full of games for the injured and their children. He apologizes for arriving late, explaining he’d been making rounds in other hospital buildings. You should step out of the lobby to see his seven-seater van packed with board games.

… Rabbi Engelman goes on to write about his encounters with people at the lobby dining area in the hospital, everyone checking in on each other, or at a keyboard he found in a hallway and brought to the lobby so people could play and sing together.

He concludes:

Today, far from Sheba, I wish for us all to have a lobby—a space to linger before entering our private, personal spheres. A place to see each other, one group noticing another. To see those in need, hear their stories, and encounter those who go above and beyond to help—volunteers who show up daily, nurses who work with devotion, מסירות נפש. To meet the anxious parents or spouses who juggle caring for a baby while managing other children running around. To witness pain, look into the eyes of loved ones, and glimpse the sparks of hope often born from surprising encounters.

Let’s focus for a moment on the human connection—the meeting, the face before us, before discussing our opinions. To gather around one simple thing we can all share: being good and doing good. To make each of our small worlds—and our shared lobby—better.

See you there!

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Chessed is the glue that binds us together as a community and as a people, from the time of Avraham and until now. In a time when divisions and discord often dominate, chesed has the power to heal and unite.

May we strive to be like our ancestors, Avraham and Rikva. And may we build our own lobbies—spaces of care, connection, and shared humanity—wherever we go. By doing so, we can make our world, and each other’s lives, just a little bit better.